Saturday, April 21, 2012

today i failed

Today I shamed myself.
I did not stand up for the underdog.
I did not do what I felt in my heart was right.
I chose to ignore rather than act.
I chose the cowards way out.
Today I witnessed a woman repeatedly verbally abuse a young girl (maybe 10 yrs old) she was shopping with.
I watched as this young girl with shoulders slouched and head hung down tried to avoid eye contact and the abuse she was being subjected to.
I had tears in my eyes.
I heard others around me muttering but none of us acted.
I imagine this little girl hoping beyond hope that someone would step in and help her and none of us did.  I feel like we collectively let her down.
I so desperately wanted to go over and give her a big hug.
What do you do in this type of situation?  How do you gently and without judgement try to help and intervene.  How do you NOT make things worse for that poor little girl?
I need a solution.  This inactivity on my part is unacceptable.  What is the right thing to do?  My heart breaks for this child.
 I failed today.
My voice was weak today but what I do know is  that as a collective we mothers have a protective roar that can turn this world upside down.  Please help me to harness this roar and make a change.... a change that will hopefully make a difference in the lives of children who really need it!

Any ideas?
Where do we begin?
ROAR with me!!!!!


  1. Krista i would also love to know what to do, I was out shopping it must have been a number of months now and heard a woman swearing at a little boy. So I too have failed and it stayed with me, what to do? Like you asked how can we help with out making it worse for the child? I want to know how to find my roar!!!!

  2. Melissa WerbowskyApril 22, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    In a situation like that, get a sales associate and notify them. They likely have policies in place and are more equipped to handle that type of situation. If police need to be called (because that IS a type of verbal assault on a minor), let the store handle it. If a customer complains about someone else's behaviour, they'll likely do something about it without letting you risk your own personal safety.

  3. Thanks melissa for your suggestion! Sales associate seems so obvious.... i must have been paralyzed by what I was seeing and hearing to even think about that.

  4. Krista,
    We talked about this...
    I think that it is so important that said "mother in meltdown" needs to know that we can relate to how hard parenting really is. We need to respond to these situations with love & compassion for both Parent & Child. I think perhaps if we were to give "mom" something tangible like a card with a number to an agency that can actually help...suggestions?
    like...Family services/ a local church/ Early years center/ parenting classes etc. If we were to give "mom" & "daughter" a warm smile & say to "mom" that we can relate to how hard parenting is, perhaps you would be open to taking this card & getting some resources to assist you...we can also say that it worked for us, that she doesn't need to feel alone, there is help for parents that really works, that everybody has bad days & perhaps if you get some help it will benefit you & your daughter/son greatly & that it will get better for both of you. Let's drop our judgements & respond with compassion for both parent & child. If parent feels judged, it is natural for humans to respond with defensive behavior. If we respond with love & concern for both, a true message of love can be received by the parent in crisis & perhaps this will aid in real changes made. I hope others will leave some tangible suggestions, we are a community of intelligent Women & Men if we work together & break this topic open then perhaps real solutions & discussions can be had. Thank-you Krista for shedding light on this topic, you have already done something beautiful for this little have opened a door for her to walk through. If everyone breaks their silence on these topics real change can be made!
    Love you loads,
    You have a heart of pure gold!